Three years ago this March is when I first was put into Occupational Therapy for carpel tunnel symptoms. Three years ago this June was when I hit the downward spiral out of which I haven't stopped......yet.

Well, for the past three years, the Lord has guided me, taught me, put me through fire, allowed many testings time and time again so that I might grow closer to the image of His Son. Thru the pain there is Great gain!

Soooooo, now on to the exciting news! Two nights ago, on Sunday night, I couldn't breathe very well when I went to bed, so I tossed and turn for quite a while before actually falling asleep. Around 3:30am, I woke up with an extremely dry mouth, could barely breathe, had a terribly headache, and felt rather feverish. I ended up getting up to go get some water since my water bottle in my room was empty....as I had forgotten to fill it up. I started sweating which is unusual for me especially at night. I actually changed my shirt because I was getting overheated. Climbing back into bed I tossed and turned for another two hours, and actually heard my dad leave for work which I rarely hear. I finally fell back asleep sometime after five when I woke up around 8. I was so discouraged yesterday, Monday, morning because I was so weary physically and mentally especially with having had such discouraging reports from the EMG last Friday. Speaking of which, thanks to all of you who kept me in prayer! I was disappointed walking out of such a painful thing and not having any answers. But let me tell you this! The Lord sustained me so amazingly during that. When walking out of the house to head to the appointment last Friday morning, grabbing my bible was an after thought, but I am so thankful I did. I spent an hour or two after the EMG reading through and underlining about ten or so Psalms. I felt so refreshed after that and ready for whatever the Lord brought next.

So anyway, I had talked with my doctor briefly at church on Sunday, and he told me to get an appointment as quick as I could as he was going to be out of town after Tuesday. My dad called yesterday morning and said that I had an appointment at 1o'clock yesterday afternoon. I was so tired, groggy, and moving so painfully slow that I was not expecting anything to come out of this appointment. As it was a follow-up from the EMG on Friday, I wasn't expecting anything more then just reviewing test results and maybe a list of medications or more tests that I was going to have to do. The closer I got to the appointment sitting in the waiting area, the more strangely at peace I felt about things. My mood was shifting quicker than I could put my finger on it. I walked into the appointment feeling like something was settled in my mind and heart. I felt like I had completely and wholly accepted the Lord's plan for this pain and for my life. I was not expecting answers, nor was I expecting any more tests really. No expectations other than relying on the Lord's guidance. I walked into the exam room, and there on the computer screen that was in the room was a chart of Trigger points for Fibromyalgia. My heart kinda did a little leap when I saw that, but I really didn't know what to think about it as all of my other doctors I've asked about FM (Fibromyalgia) have either completely ignored it, brushed it off, or agreed it was something to look into but that they didn't want to touch it. My doctors, my parents, and I talked for a little bit about how the EMG went, how I was feeling now, and I mentioned the problems I've had with breathing. One of my docs then asked me to take off my sweater and he started pressing spots on my back. I laughed with a friend yesterday afterwards that I started grinning but quickly wiped the smile off my face. I knew exactly what the doc was doing, but instead of letting my desires outweigh my actual reactions to his fingers, I focused on exactly where he was pressing and how it felt. He finished pressing on all of the spots and looked at my main doctor and asked “so how many was that?”. My doctor's response sent another huge smile to my face. Which I again quickly wiped off. At this point everyone in the room was watching me. My doctor's response to the other doc's question was “that was 12.” Okay, a little background info here. As FM is not a condition that can be found on blood tests, exams, x-rays, MRI's, it can only be diagnosed, at least right now at this time, by looking at symptoms and testing trigger points. To be positive for FM, you have to at least 11 trigger points positive for pain. I had 12!!!!!!!! Oh MY Goodness. I couldn't keep the grin off my face after that! He started talking about FM, and I said right away “Oh, I've done research on that and have had people tell me that's what it sounds like I!” My doctor visibly relaxed and there was such an atmosphere of relief in the room! I felt like crying, singing for joy, and jumping up and down in excitement! It was answer!!!!! I'm still shell shocked writing this, and I haven't been able to fully comprehend the fact that I have a name to put on what I've been dealing with! We talked about treatments and starting today, I'll be walking about 10 to15 minutes each day and hoping to up that to 30 minutes each day. Because of the nature of FM, vigorous exercise can be detrimental. Along with starting slowly to exercise I also started on Ambien last night which is another sleep aid. This one is different from what I've had before as it works to put you quickly to sleep and only lasts for 4 hours instead of all night. The medicine works also to keep you asleep. But the main part of the medicine that I need is the getting to sleep quickly part. That's my biggest problem outside of not getting the right kind of sleep; not getting to sleep quickly. So I took the ambien last night and it actually worked in putting me to sleep quickly! I feel slightly groggy today, but nothing compared to the other sleep aids or muscle relaxers I've taken.

My brother Barry's response was pretty amusing when I told him “Guess what!? I have Fibromyalgia!” He looked at me like I was crazy and said “So you're upset when you didn't get any answers, but you're happy when you find out you have an incurable thing?” I said yep, that's bout it!

I am relieved, joyful, at peace, and looking back, I am so amazed at how over the past week or so the Lord has been preparing me for yesterday and an answer. The Lord works in mysterious ways for sure! Jeremiah 29:11-13 says – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

I John 5:14-15 says – And this is the confidence we have toward Him, that if we ask anything ACCORDING to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that have asked of Him. (my own emphasis added)

Philippians 4:19 says – My God shall supply ALL your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Mark 10:27 says – With man it is impossible, but not with God. For ALL THINGS are possible with God. (my own emphasis added)

Lastly Mark 5:24 says - “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”

These are just a smattering of verses that have become so precious to me over the past few years and I can now grasp even more tightly and with so much for reliance on God's will. I have seen and gathered that when we pray for answers, we shouldn't be praying please heal me, or please show me the way, we should pray that our desires become HIS desires. I believe that when I am in accordance with God's will not visa versa, my prayers are answered because it is no longer my desire but what God desires. The last verse I shared is a verse that I've clung too with hope over the past two years, but it wasn't until yesterday I think I could take it fully as my own. No, I haven't been healed, and I do not know that I will ever have this FM taken from my body, but my heart was healed, and my faith full restored to a level I've never been before! With GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!!!!!! I had begun telling friends and those who asked over the past few weeks with true sincerity that if I was going to have to deal with this pain and discomfort for the rest of my life, so be it. I was going to do so then with a smile on my face and peace in my heart and joy in my heart! I didn't know that yesterday I was going to be given answer, but I can say this that I gave up my desire for an answer a few weeks ago, and what do ya know, I got an answer yesterday! The other incredible thing is that over the past month I've been meditating and memorizing Proverbs 3:5-6 which says – trust in the Lord will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths. :soft laugh: I think we as Christians sometimes don't fully understand what trust in the Lord with ALL your heart means! I don't know fully or understand that, but I'm working on it!

I wouldn't wish what I've been through the past three years on anyone, no matter whether or not I liked them, but I also can say with my WHOLE heart that I wouldn't give up the past three years for the world! I have learned so much, have found my Savior in everything, and even though I have a probably even harder road in front of me, I am confident and content with pressing forward not resignedly but with joyfulness and peace in knowing this is the path chosen for me! It is an unusual diagnoses because I'm not even 18 yet, but that just makes this all the more exciting!

Okay, so change in prayer requests! Isn't this exciting!!!! No longer is the monotonous string of prayer requests for comfort and relief, but now I would like to ask for prayer to be able to persevere and move forward through this next year of trial and error of trying to find the right combination of treatments for me. It is going to be a difficult path as the only way to find something that works is through trial and error and testing different medications and exercise programs.

So please be praying that I will be able to keeping on keeping and to move forward into this time of my life with Joy, Peace, Thankfulness, Gratitude, and a Willingness to do everything to the Glory of God!

Take care and many blessings to you my friends!

Lady Mysterious

Romans 8:18 – For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ← that will be my signature verse from now on!

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know about something that happened yesterday and that will need to be covered in prayer. 

During this past weekend and even before, my right elbow started bothering me to the point where it hurt to pick up books or dance.  When I got back from the weekend my right wrist started having shooting pains through it when I moved my hand a certain way.  Well, Tuesday I was so dog-gone tired, I almost didn't make through the conference call I was a part of without falling asleep.  When I got off the phone and started getting ready for bed, my entire right side started bothering me.  I got up Wednesday feeling a little nasty, but didn't think much of it.  Well, Wednesday night I decided to switch my mattress around (which btw, is a full sized, thick mattress in a small room).  In doing so I further inflamed my arm and elbow.  Going to sleep that night was very painful, and I know that I tossed and turned most of the night.  When I woke up yesterday morning, I couldn't even roll over as I was in so much pain.  I tried to get up but almost didn't make it.  I went to find my mom to see if she could call my dad for an appointment or something that might help.  Because of being so wiped out from this past weekend and with having added stress at work, my immune system, and alertness is down a lot.  Anyway, daddy got me an appointment with some doctor at around 12:45.  Mom and I headed down to the hospital and all the way there and for the next three and 1/2 hours, I was really not worth a smidgen of anyone's time.  Sure, I've dealt with worse pain then this, but this time was the first it had hit to badly during the day.  I am now on a medicine called Pamelor which is a sleeping aid.  I really don't want to be on any medications, but at this point, I would really like to be able to sleep. 

So after spending over three hours at the hospital I am still wiped out today.  Please pray that I can find my feet and get them back under me soon.  Also, please pray for my job.  As the library is smack dab in the middle of Summer Reading programs, all the other pages and myself have had almost three times the amount of work to do.  Besides that, Barry and I are the most reliable pages in there so we get all the pressure if we can come in. 

Alright, I need to head home and see if I can't get something to eat.  (yes, to those who get on me for not eating, I do eat. )

God bless,

Caleigh